FASHION PATROL

Sometimes we just have to ask: what were they thinking? Fashion crimes against Dan and Emma in particular have been on the rise lately and here my guest editors and I will dicuss these fashion tragedies in hopes of doing a public service. Stop Fashion Crimes!


Note: Fashion crimes have no statute of limitation therefore I don't care how old they are. Style and trends will also be commented on. No offense is meant to any actor, only to the offending style. Just laugh and enjoy. And maybe protect yourself against fashion wrongs! And once in a while a Fashion-Do will be commented on so that we don't completely loose hope in Dan and Emma. We have to compliment them once in a while so they don't give up. Enjoy folks!


Report a Dan and/or Emma fashion crime.












Crime: Cosby Show Flashbacks
Criminal: Emma Watson
Accomplice: Teen Vogue, 2005
Date Cited: 8.27.05
Guest Patroler: My husband, Mike



Kate: And once again, Emma shows why the 80s should never ever come back.


Mike: Everything about this picture screams 1985. The skirt, the hair, the jacket, the wall paint.


Kate: Kids still tag walls.


Mike: Not wearing that, they don't.


Kate: Didn't one of the Cosby kids wear that outfit?


Mike: Probably. The only thing missing is white legwarmers and jellie shoes.


Kate: OMG I loved Jelli shoes! Except in the summer. You'd peel them off and you could see the tan lines from the shoes.


Mike: Didn't they melt?


Kate: Not unless you left them outside.


Mike: Looking at this picture makes me want to break out my Flock of Seagulls hairstyle and the sports jacket with the sleeves rolled up.


Kate: Miami Vice style, baby.


Mike: Don Johnson was the man. He wore t-shirts and shoes without socks. Shock and awe, people, shock and awe.


Kate: Emma should be wearing a "JK turned my character into a bitchy, whiny bore and all I got was this stupid t-shirt" shirt.


Mike: Still mad?


Kate: Still homicidal.


Mike: Was it that bad?


Kate: It was worse. Poor Emma. She's going to go from playing a really cool and intelligent character to playing a dumb, jealous, hag. Poor us!


Mike: And now the world is over.


Kate: Shut up. Don't make fun. You know how much I loved Hermione.


Mike: Should I break out the violin?


Kate: Asshole.


Mike: Maybe Emma will die of her and her stylist's bad fashion choices before she ever gets to that point and you'll be spared.


Kate: It's quite possible looking at this. It's pretty bad when your outfit is louded and uglier than the spraypaint on the wall behind them.


Mike: I'm going to go put on my old Whitesnake album and look at this picture some more. Somehow they go together.


Kate: Whitesnake? Really?


Mike: Or maybe Ric Astley.


Kate: Better. Save me a seat. I'll break out my jellies.