Sometimes we just have to ask: what were they thinking? Fashion crimes against Dan and Emma in particular have been on
the rise lately and here my guest editors and I will dicuss these fashion tragedies in hopes of doing a public service.
Stop Fashion Crimes!
Note: Fashion crimes have no statute of limitation therefore I don't care how old they are. Style and trends will also
be commented on. No offense is meant to any actor, only to the offending style. Just laugh and enjoy. And maybe protect
yourself against fashion wrongs! And once in a while a Fashion-Do will be commented on so that we don't completely loose
hope in Dan and Emma. We have to compliment them once in a while so they don't give up. Enjoy folks!
Report a Dan and/or Emma fashion crime.
Crime: Blinding us with paisley|
Criminals: Dan Radcliffe and Emma Watson
Accomplice: Chamber of Secrets Premiere, Los Angeles
Date Cited: 6.29.05
Guest Patroler: Heather from the HLH Group
Heather: Now she looks very nice. However...WTF? Who dressed Dan??? The suit is fine... but that TIE! OMFG. He looks like a 70's gay mob hit man. Gorgeous all the same... but that tapestry tie is horrid.
Kate: Ahhh! I've been blinded by the paisley. And what's with the freaking flower? It looks like he took it from a fake flower display at the local supermarket. Cause, you know, when you look at a purple suit like that you automatically think the only thing missing is a big, fake, red and green flower.
Heather: Well, the 'flower' is for a cause, many celebs and politicians were wearing them that year...like Americans wear the AIDS red ribbon. I forgot what it was for. But still, who had the idea that the symbol for this charity is a dopey flower which looks as though it was made with construction paper with plastic rounded scissors by 6-year-olds in art class. I was waiting for it to squirt water or something. I stole this flower from Bozo the Clown.
Kate: What ever happed to wearing a ribbon? Less ugly and it still gets the point across. And it's red and green. It clashes so bad with purple suit. Speaking of which- holy crap. The suit is purple, but the shirt is off purple, and the tie is light purple and then the green and red flowers and... well now there ya go- my eyes have gone crooked. I haven't seen that much purple suit since Prince's "Purple Rain" video.
Heather: And....isn't it fashion faux pas to wear black and brown together? I didn't realise until this particular photo that the shirt was brown.
Kate: It's not. It's purple.
Heather: Bloody hell. That must be some fucked up iridescent purple/plum shirt. "Look at my shirt! It changes colour...and my kaleidoscope tie will blind you forever!"
"Now just gaze at my tie....you are falling deeper, and deeper into my power. You'll do anything I ask. When I snap my fingers you will be my slave."
"Emma? ....let's go"
Heather: In other pics it looked almost black. I thought it looked bad THEN. Sheesh. Blimey, if he's wearing a dark bluish/purple suit with a brown shirt and 70's fugly paisley-trapestry tie. Jesus....his stylist should be shot for colour coordination alone. If Dan picked this out...he should be slapped, spanked and have the clothes ripped right off his body. Which wouldn't be too terrible a thing.
Kate: I volunteer!
Reporter: "So Dan, who are you wearing tonight?"
Dan: "Oh this little number is designed by The Joker. Since he doesn't have a role in the Batman movies anymore, he decided to go into fashion."
Kate: Cause, you know, he was bored with murdering people. Although this is fashion death. Emma look so gorgeous until you slide down to her shoes. It's so jarring to see those big, black, clunky things with such a pretty dress. It's like she was going to wear some goth black dress but her parents forced her to wear the white one, but she held her ground on the black shoes. It was a big drama.
Heather: They coordinated that night. Dan's squirting clown flower and Emma's flower power shoes. They sort of look dark purple close up. She called Dan's stylist that day to match him...at least in shoes. She has the dark purple version of this dress but with the choppy hem line made her look too much like a witch...hence the white version instead. But no time to buy new shoes! Tragedy! Maybe Emma's flowers squirt oil so all other girls slip and fall on their arse when approaching her man, Dan. *die evil groupies die!*
Kate: Hehehe Emma has that look of "death to the infidels" behind that fake smile. Like she's plastered on a smile but she's looking off in the corner at some girl screaming to Dan. "Bitch, please!" (takes off her shoe and throws it.) *whack!* "Get the f*ck out of my premiere!"
Heather: Speaking of hair....did anyone decide to DO her hair? Looks like she gave it a one-two brush and that was it. She's a cute girl....the least they could have done is put in a few curls, pull it back or up or SOMETHING. Gads...nice dress and mousy hair just don't mix. Her hair should have been pulled back for this type of dress. The necklace is wrong too...Jesus, freeze dry my face and pull my eyebrows a little higher and call me Joan Rivers.
Kate: Oh well. At least Emma got it sort of right. But poor Dan. Just... oy!