Sometimes we just have to ask: what were they thinking? Fashion crimes against Dan and Emma in particular have been on the rise lately and here my guest editors and I will dicuss these fashion tragedies in hopes of doing a public service. Stop Fashion Crimes!

Note: Fashion crimes have no statute of limitation therefore I don't care how old they are. Style and trends will also be commented on. No offense is meant to any actor, only to the offending style. Just laugh and enjoy. And maybe protect yourself against fashion wrongs! And once in a while a Fashion-Do will be commented on so that we don't completely loose hope in Dan and Emma. We have to compliment them once in a while so they don't give up. Enjoy folks!

Report a Dan and/or Emma fashion crime.

Crime: Ripping off the trekkies.
Criminals: Dan and Emma
Accomplice: PoA Photocall
Date Cited: 6.28.05
Guest Patroler: My husband, Michael.

Mike: This is what happens when you let a Klingon dress you.

Kate: It's like he's about to board the Starship Enterprise. A trekkie totally dressed him for this.

Mike: Like Data or Picard should come around the corner and tell him they need to beam up off this strange planet right away before they violate the Prime Directive.

Kate: The only thing missing is one of those shirt button things that they tap when they want to communicate with another person. What are they called?

Mike: Um, a communicator?

Kate: No, dumbass. A communicator is the handheld thing isn't it?

Mike: That's a tricorder. And I'm the dumbass?

Kate: Sorry I'm not up on my 'Star Trek proper uniform' lingo. Wow- what's it like to be as cool as you?

Mike: Shut up.

Kate: He needs a phaser.

Mike: "Set phasers on ambiguously gay!"

Kate: I know! Not that gay is bad at all, but you definitely wouldn't want to be outted by wearing this outfit.

Mike: My friend- we call him Big Gay Kyle- would kill himself if he was photographed wearing this. And he's as gay as the day is long.

Kate: I know. Dan's definitely het. No proper gay man would be caught dead in this. It's SO gay that it turned the corner and went into straight again. It's Fauxmosexual.

Mike: Fauxmosexual?

Kate: Feigning gayness.

Mike: And no gay man would wear those shoes with that outfit. It proves he's straight.

Kate: It's frightening how much you know about what gay men wear. As your wife, it scares me.

Mike: He's got this stance like he has something stuck up his butt.

Kate: A massive wedgie.

Mike: I don't blame him. If I were wearing that I'd be uptight too.

Mike: Look at the second picture. Dan looks like he's going to throw up. And I think he stole a pair of women's pants. They have this bunched up thing going on at the top. What the Hell was he thinking?

Kate: I love Emma's skirt. I think she actually looks great. Except, again, with the bad shoes.

Mike: And, again, with the Star Trek tunic. Kind of weird.

Kate: Her legs are so tan. I hate her. My legs go from white to burn. There's nary a middle ground.

Mike: That's not true. You get a nice tan sometimes. You look good with a tan. You're too white otherwise.

Kate: Her hair looks nice here, too. Much better than the Flobee.

Mike: I still can't get over Dan's face in that second pic. He looks like he just realized how bad he looks.

Kate: Hahhaaa I know, right? It's just dawning on him at this moment that he'd actually look more manly if he were wearing the skirt Emma's wearing.

Kate: Poor Dan.

Mike: Poor photographers.