

Photos thanks to RupertGrint.net here and here
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Crime: Hippie revival
Criminal: Rupert Grint
Accomplice: An Audience with Al Murray
Date Cited: 6.30.05
Guest Patroler: My husband, Michael
Kate: Oh my God. Someone get help! Rupert's been violently attacked by hippies!
Mike: They gave him bad hair and dirty pants.
Kate: Those bastards!
Mike: Look at the photographer behind him. He can't even take anymore pictures. He's in total shock over the hippie invasion.
Kate: Rupert's hair broke his camera.
Mike: His parents cut his bangs that way to ensure that all relationships with women at this point would be extremely difficult and he'd remain a virgin.
Kate: This is the best way to ensure abstinence. Good plan!
Mike: That hair has a life of its own. Like it might kill us all if we look at it for too long.
Kate: Why is he bothering with the pretense of dressing nice with the whole suit jacket thing?
Mike: It's the only thing he had in his closet that was clean. He needed it to hold back the stench of his dirty clothes.
Kate: The balder guy behind him in that first pic can smell him. He had to turn his head away.
Mike: Those holes in his jeans were made by the stank. It just ate right through the fabric.
Kate: Poor Rupert.
Mike: Die, hippie! Die!
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