Sometimes we just have to ask: what were they thinking? Fashion crimes against Dan and Emma in particular have been on the rise lately and here my guest editors and I will dicuss these fashion tragedies in hopes of doing a public service. Stop Fashion Crimes!

Note: Fashion crimes have no statute of limitation therefore I don't care how old they are. Style and trends will also be commented on. No offense is meant to any actor, only to the offending style. Just laugh and enjoy. And maybe protect yourself against fashion wrongs! And once in a while a Fashion-Do will be commented on so that we don't completely loose hope in Dan and Emma. We have to compliment them once in a while so they don't give up. Enjoy folks!

Report a Dan and/or Emma fashion crime.

Crime: Making the Flobee look like a good alternative
Criminal: Emma Watson
Accomplice: Superbowl Appearance
Date Cited: 6.28.05
Guest Patroler: My husband, Michael.

Mike: Emma is yelling at the hairstylist who did this to her.

Kate: It's like the biggest hair don't I've ever seen.

Mike: I know. Like the hairstylist was denied a raise and she flipped out. Like Michael Douglas from that movie "Falling Down" did. He just flipped out and went on a killing spree whenever anyone pissed him off. So she decided that, instead of shooting everyone, she'd just do everyone's hair as bad as she could until she was fired or she got a raise.

Kate: After this photoshoot, she was denied the raise, so she went with the first idea and shot everyone. Rupert was shot in the arm.

Mike: Yeah, definitely. Then she shot herself. Her work was evil and she couldn't live with herself.

Kate: And Emma was just a helpless victim.

Kate: It looks like instead of using a blow dryer, she used a Flobee.

Mike: Holy shit, Flobee's were awesome. A hair cutter that hooked up to your vacuum cleaner. Genius I tell you!

Kate: But it only gave you one hair style: the puffy bowl hairdo.

Mike: Hair don't.

Kate: Yeah, that too.

Kate: And God help you if you had curly hair and tried to use it.

Mike: And to think, people were spending hundreds on hair stylists when the Flobee was only $14.99 at your local hardware store.

Kate: A shame.

Kate: Nevermind the hair, Emma's shirt is kind of freaking me out too. It's way too open wide. The whole point of the preppy look is to look preppy. Not like you're trying to pull off preppy, but want to show off your boobs, too.

Mike: Is there a way to look preppy and slutty at the same time?

Kate: Ever seen "The O.C."?

Kate: I think Emma's on to something. Flobee hair, slut-but-not prep look... fashionista! We just don't understand. We're too primitive.

Mike: Shut up. Just shut up.