You know, I'm so tired of polls where we're asked what ship will end up together and we never get to see Harry and Hermione. We vote our little asses off, and some of you- don't lie- even try to cheat your sad little hearts into seeing Hermione and Harry as each other's #1 vote. But it still doesn't work.
Well you know what? Fuck that. Here, Harry and Hermione will always be the vote that wins. Always. There will never be another winner, except for the mildly amusing choices I give you which still point to HHr. Have fun and don't take it too seriously.
We've Waited Years. HHr Finally Happens. But Wait! It's Not The Way We Wanted! After Waiting All This Time, Against All Odds, What Would Be the Worst HHr Scenario Ever?
1. Is there a wrong way?
2. There is SOOoo a wrong way. Two words: Suicide Pact.
3. HHr finally realize their feelings for each other, but then Hermione comes down with terminal cancer.
4. They get together, but their relationship is totally loveless and end up breaking up. And then they're super friends again.
5. Holy crap I think I'd hang myself if that crap ever happened. C'Mon, JK's more creative than that. I hope. I really hope.
6. Harry tells Hermione he likes her, only to have him say "Ha! Ha! I'm totally messing with you. But where's Ginny and her flowing red locks which bounce in the wind?"
7. Harry waits too long to tell her. Like really too long. Like they're 80 and the moron finally realizes it.
8. They get together, but we never read about it ever actually happening, so you're never really sure. Then Hermione has a baby- which we're never told is Harry's until long after she gives it up for adoption. She can't keep Harry Potter's baby because it's in too much danger from the death eaters. Harry isn't even around anymore. He left her so he could go off and kill Death Eaters all around the countryside and we never hear from him again, except in badly written letters to Hermione. We finally read about Harry again when he's arrested for killing a really bad deatheater and he's given the death penalty. They have to go on the run after giving up their baby (oh and, by the way, Hermione can no longer have any other children. The deatheaters abducted her and removed her eggs). They never get married and they barely touch anymore. And we only read about them kissing twice. And both times it's G rated. And the only time they say "I love you" is after being heavily sedated. And they barely talk to each other. Oh... and Lavender and Justin become the main characters of the book- which now sucks ass all over the place.
9. Um...sorry. I've been scarred by The X-Files. There are issues. ::Kate twitches::
10. Harry and Hermione get together, but then, mysteriously, Hermione finds out that her friend, Ginny, is a evil immortal clone and they fight until Hermione passes out. When she wakes up she feels like it's only been minutes but it's actually been two years. Harry has married Cho Chang, who he then finds out- if it wasn't too blaringly obvious to everyone else- is actually and evil and wants to kill Hermione. Then Harry has lots of sex scenes with Cho just to spite us. And another 5 books go by until Harry and Hermione get back together. The day they're going to get married, they get into a tragic broom accident after Harry tells Hermione that he's been lying to her for years and that his name isn't actually 'Harry Potter'.
11. Um..sorry again. I've been scarred by Alias. There are issues. So many issues. Why do I watch these shows? ::Kate bangs head on wall::
12. Harry gets with Hermione, then they find out that they're brother and sister. Like He-Man and She-Ra. Yeah, that cartoon didn't mess me up too much...
13. Five seconds after they figure it out, one of them is eaten by Fluffy, who's been locked up and hasn't eaten anything since The Sorcerer's Stone.