Page 16: Mountain Trolls

You lie, bitch! Harry is not going to lay Hermione in June! Where the fuck did you get that idea from? Seriously, you've got issues.

Riiiiight. I have issues. Good luck there, crazy.

I can see you shipping Harry and Hermione, but the Dan/Emma section is inappropriate. You're not putting together two fictitious characters, but you're messing with the lives of real people, children at that, and naming the area "The Gutter". No matter how you try to work it, that's just wrong and inexcusable. You're crossing a line that should just never be crossed with that section of your website. [Kate edit: Then why are you visiting? Go away, you freak!]


Hello. Listen I know it takes a lot of work to make a site like this but this is nothing more than a tabloid site that disses both the actors emma watson and dan radcliffe. I do not think that you would like it if you had stories and lies written to you and then posted so the world could see. This is truely making fun of both the actors and maybe yourself for having such an invasive mind. Please take no offense to this letter for your ability to make a web page is great but such a tabloid as this is wrong. I wish you would not post this on your site or anyone elses for that would also be intrusive to me as well. Please take heed to this letter for there may be consicuences such as I had. Thank you for your time. Sinceraly, [name omitted to protect the ignorant]

and in case I didn't smell her idiocy the first 2 times....

Dear Kate, I have been to your site and it is nice but the theme is not to do with reality. It is funny how people such as yourself say that they do not like liers nor to they rely on them and yet you write false things about the writings of J. K. Rowling and the relationship between Dan and Emma. I have also seen you posting the people who object the opinion of your site and insulting there opinion. I understand your anger for some of them and the names they have called you but it is still not fair to the people in general. I will not call you a name for this site does not describe you as a person just your general idea of the life other people live. In my opinion this is a Tabloidic site with lies and digradment on them. I request that you do not post this on your site and take it into consideration. There have been lawsuits commeted against sites like yours and I am just warning you and showing the state in which i stand. Sincerely, [name omitted to protect the ignorant]

Hello, Hi, Greetings (please insert preferred and nonthreatening greeting here),

This is J. Lee Everett Whitney Cobb Bronstein Wallace Brightonworth, legal representative of HarryLovesHermione.com, the fan website. I was forwarded your message by Kate J, owner of said website and also known to the legal amateur as "defendant." We are express our deep sorrow, pain, excessive worry, bad feeling, and/or concerns about your comments. I assure you I, J. Lee Everett Whitney Cobb Bronstein Wallace Brightonworth, legal representative of HarryLovesHermione.com, the fan website, will properly look into the matter and make sure that all parties interested are satisfied to a level that they may be able to say "I was in a lawsuit and I am now satisfied."

May we have your lawyers name, phone number, fax number, eye color and romantic preferences, so that I... being J. Lee Everett Whitney Cobb Bronstein Wallace Brightonworth, legal representative of HarryLovesHermione.com, the fan website... may properly discuss with him the chances of this hereby following upcoming and to be or not to be court drama may occur? Or incur. I always confuse those. But I get it right in court, that's my motto. And while there has never, ever, ever, ever, never, ever, ever been a lawsuit, ever, ever, never, never, ever...that was about someone not wanting their letter posted on a website... ever... I feel confidant, complacent, and constipated that a settlement can and will be met between both parties, including myself, J. Lee Everett Whitney Cobb Bronstein Wallace Brightonworth, legal representative of HarryLovesHermione.com, the fan website, and Kate J, also known as "defendant."

Many Thank You's, sincerely, Best Wishes, Insert-non-offensive closing remark here,

J. Lee Everett Whitney Cobb Bronstein Wallace Brightonworth, legal representative of HarryLovesHermione.com, the fan website
"I get it right in court!"

hey sorry to burst your bubble but hello?!?!? jkr so said it wasn't harry and hermione!!!! i (personally) totally go with RHr and a little H/ Gi. but ron and hermione are perfect and hermione so totally likes him!!! and hermione is worried about harry in the fourth book because HARRY, ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS IS COMPETING IN A DEADLY TOURNAMENT, WHERE HE COULD EASILY BE KILLED. grrr...

and under a different name but IT'S THE SAME PERSON:

i agree with [name omitted to protect the ignorant], i am a total R/Hr shipper!!! i just read the slightly skewed recaps and they were very funny overal except for the whole H/Hr thing. I mean, give Ron some credit!! He's not stupid or unfunny u know!!! You make him out to be a loser, which he isn't cuz he's harry's best friend and he is so cute. otherwise, the recaps were good

It's like a bottomless well of stupid...

Bitch please. I'm a real man and real men don't like your site. Why does the site focus so much of the romatic part of the books. It's not about romatic stuff. It's about guys, real men and boys becoming men, showing their power and one man's journey through good and evil. I think your site is ofensive because it's only focusing on the lovey dovey crap. And Ron's going to tap that ass, not Harry anyway because Ron is more of a man than Harry is a man. So you should definitely remember that this is a man's story and that more men love to read this story than women, who can never really understand it because it's not a woman's journey- it's a man's. So change your site. hoep you listen to my good advice because I read the books and I love to read the books. +++ [signature omitted to protect the ignorant]

I have a funny feeling that you enjoy reading as much as you enjoy spousal abuse. And I have to say that this message gets the award for being able to say the words "man" and "men" the most times in one paragraph.

You suck bitch I fucking hate u and I'm going to kill u! DEAD do you hear me. Wait I'll find out where u live and kill u. ur gonna be sorry you even started this stupuid fucking site BIOTCH! and i'll kill jk if harry and hermione get together in the end too. And I'm gonna kick ur ass to tomorrow. I'm gonna stomp on u and watch u bleed and then ur gonna b sorry. stupid motherfucking whore bitch cunt shitfucker cocksucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahh yes. This is what I like to call "the Kick Ass." The Kick Ass is a tough guy who likes nothing more than to show you how tough he is and how he's the online baddest of the bad boys! He makes sure that everyone fears him online and knows he's there to kick ass and take names.

Well, online, that is. In real life, he's just another pimply-faced 16-year old who weighs 114 pounds and is beaten up at school every day. Until he gets home and pulls the legs off of grasshoppers and shaves the family cat to prove how much ass he kicks. But when he logs onto mom's AOL account, he instantly becomes the baddest bad guy that ever was bad, ready to kick your ass at the slightest provocation. He warns people like me with his badass rage: he has the ability to find my address, hunt me down, and kill me at the drop of a hat! Well, that's what he claims at least. In reality, his mom probably won't let him drive the family station wagon all the way to my house, so no worries- I think I'm pretty safe.

[Kate Note: This person used to be a member of the HLH Group and was so overly paranoid and really, really amazingly problematic that I had to boot her out. The mail below, showing off only a small bit of what we had to deal with, was in response to a mail I wrote her which I've included. She created a website with a name almost exact to mine and mailed me after it had already been opened. As you can read, I wasn't extremely upset about it because it was an fellow HHr site, but I did bother me a bit that she had to have a site name so similar to mine especially after having had so many problems with her once before. Here's the correspondance:

"i'm glad you have your own site now, but was there a reason you chose a name so very similar to mine? I mean, congrats on the new site. I guess.... i don't know. there are a lot of other names to come up with. why that one? I guess the only way i can explain is if i came out with a site called [her other website name, omitted to protect the ignorant]...which is like your [her other website name, omitted to protect the ignorant] and it had the same theme and such. you know? either way, good luck with your new site.- Kate J"

And her psychotic response:

"Well, I certainly didn't mean to piss you off so badly. Quite frankly I'm shocked that this bothers you. I suppose I should have asked your permission or something before I acted, huh? I thought it would be cool to have a site on the net that expresses the fact that Hermione loves Harry and says so in the name. The sites would be very different and I don't think it would be that confusing, especially since one is .com and the other .net. Also, the sites aren't geared toward exactly the same things. Yours is all about Harry and Hermione, Dan and Emma, this is just about Hermione's feelings for Harry. Mine is a dark colored site, yours is fairly bright in the color scheme. There are a lot of things to differentiate the kind of sites we have. As to you having a website very similar to [her other website name, omitted to protect the ignorant], how would I feel about that? I'd feel flattered and wouldn't be the least bit bothered by it. It surely wouldn't put a hair in my ass to see you do that. My website is spelled [her other website name, omitted to protect the ignorant], and I wouldn't be the least bit bothered by [her other website name, omitted to protect the ignorant] being yours. One letter difference. I suppose that's the difference between us though. You sure are hard to get along with. You let inconsequential things like this piss you off. Well, the domain name is paid for, nothing I can do about it now. I'll just never bother you again, okay Kate? You have a serious attitude problem, and you're just not worth the effort in my opinion. [signature omitted to protect the ignorant]"

Is there a psychoanalyst is the house? Holy. Crap. I debated whether or not to display her special brand of idiocy here because she's a fellow HHr site owner, and really, it's not necessary to embarrass her. She's done a good enough job of embarrassing herself. But because she's has to be such a freaking drama queen and continues to misinterpret every little thing anyone says to her (the problem we had on the site didn't even involve me, but instead another poster, and she mailed me saying all these horrible things about me, only a month later to have her mail back as though nothing had happened), not to mention the problems she caused for members within the HLH group (who are very happy without her there!), I figured it would be a good idea to show off some HHr stupidity. So you see- it's not all RHr shippers that are psychotic monkeys. In fact, some are very sane in comparison. There are plenty of HHr monkeys out there too, folks!

Harry/Hermione is never going to happen! It's going to be Ron/Hermione! Harry and Hermione are just friends, nothing more, nothing less. I don't think you know the difference between a friendship and 'shippiness. Well, let me explain it to you. When two characters are friends, they have usually been friends from the beginning, possessing an ?I?ve always had your back, I always will have your back? attitude about one another. This is what is inferred in Hermione and Harry?s relationship: they are friends. But with ?shippiness, things don?t often start off on the right foot. ?Shippiness usually begins with resistance in some form or another. Often the two characters annoy the crap out of one another, or are long-term enemies, or simply don?t see eye to eye. Slowly they begin to realize that they care more about one another than they thought, and develop a casual friendship. Over time, as the friendship grows, a new feeling grows with it. How do I know all this stuff about ?shippiness? I have been a ?shipper many times, for many different people. I have realized these common patterns amongst people who are going to eventually have a romantic relationship. The reason I am a Ron/Hermione ?Shipper is because the relationship between them is also following this same pattern, implying the inevitable. Besides, J.K. Rowling has said over and over that Hermione is going to end up with Ron! Harry/Hermione is nothing romantic! I hope I've set you straight.

Seriously, what's with the question marks? I'm freaking out.

when u ^d8? bin 4ever. i h8 ur site newayz. hrr 4eva so dont ^d8 4 all i care. dont u no dat its ginny n harry n hermione n ron. itz in da bookz. wgaff! i no u h8 webspeek so im writin in it so i annoy u. does it work? i hope so. bitch.

Yes, net speak bothers me. I know it's hard for people like you to type long and complex words such as "you," "hate" and "see you later," but at least you save that valuable time, which in turn allows you to download all the Justin Timberlake and Jessica Simpson pics your heart desires.

harry an hermione are stupid. and so are you. i bet you jusdt think about them having sex all the time because ur a freak. i hope you die. this site is weird and bad. thanks for all the pictues. love the site! but you're stupid and harry belongs with ginny. you better hope no one ever find out were you live because we'll break your computer for even putting this stupid stuff up. it's all al ie. bye.

harry and ginny FOR LIFE (that means forever since you don't know)

Jesus. Jesus Christ... That's it, guys. I'm out. Game over.

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I've reached my stupidity limit, folks! If I read anymore, I may have to just kill everyone in order to save the world. I'm not qualified to be a superhero, so I'll forward the rest of my flames to Batman and maybe he can deal. Although, he may just hang himself with his own utility belt after reading some of these. So I think we might be on our own. Stock up on water and guns now. Seriously, the world is just so screwed.