Neville tells them that they're dumb-asses who made her cry off in the bathroom. He calls them...
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"Monkeys!!"
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Harry feels horrible.
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"I feel horrible."
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But the obvious bad guy comes running in yelling of trolls and other such nonsense...
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While still no one questions why a skinny English white man is wearing a purple turban.
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And though we learn in OotP that Snape is excellent at Occlumency and Legilimency...
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...he can't figure out that a fellow teacher is Voldemort.
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Let's not mention what this idiot can't figure out.
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Back to the troll business, Harry immediately thinks of Hermione, of course.
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"Ron, the love of my life is all alone crying in a bathroom. She doesn't know about the troll."
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"Don't worry, Harry. I mean, what are the chances the troll will go in that one room in this entire building?"
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[...]
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"Well, at least there's finally some real angst going on! I was getting tired of making these faces for no reason whatsoever."
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So they run off, while the trusty staff have gone out for a cigarette break.
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