EXTRAS: THE SLIGHTLY SKEWED RECAPS |
So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!
"Oh you'll find out soon enough. He's going to try and kill you at least once this coming year."
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[...]
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So Harry goes off to school.
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"Wait a tick, Hagrid. Wasn't it just my birthday, July 31st, like 2 days ago? How can it be September already?"
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"Oh, that's just a blooper. Go with it."
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"Oookay."
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Harry meets one of his best friends.
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"Hi, I'm Ron. I'll be making lots of funny faces, just like this one, over the next few years."
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"Um, okay. Nice to meet you!"
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"I'm Molly. I'll be like a second mother to you. So whenever I come on screen, everyone just says, 'Awww.'"
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"We're the twins. We'll be the only source of comedy in your life over the next few years. We're poorly underused in the movies but our scenes are still the best."
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"We're dirt poor, which will cause internal conflict for you, because you're filthy rich and we know it. But we've got a lot of love in our family."
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"Except for Percy. No one really likes him."
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"Don't mind Ginny here. She doesn't become important until next year."
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"Poor Dad. He's not even in this movie."
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