So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Back in class, it's apparent that Dumbledore is trying to cut back on school funds so he can buy even more ugly hats. We see that the Hogwarts budget can't afford to get this poor man a podium. So he has to stand on books. Wouldn't it be funny if he just fell off? Poor thing.	Good job idiot!	Everyone struggles to levitate a feather.
Except for Hermione, who's bored out of her freakin' mind.	So she does it just to kill time. Everyone is amazed.	And some people are jealous because they're only slightly above monkeys in intelligence.
[...]	And even though she'll be the best friend they'll ever have...	They make fun of her.
And make her cry.	Monkeys, I tell you!	Harry feels bad and looks at her empty seat at dinner.
While Ron just stuffs his face. Hey, he doesn't eat much at home. Can't really blame the poor boy.	Harry asks about Hermione.	Neville has all the gossip.