So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Harry's manages to defeat Voldemort, but takes a spill in the process.

But he looks totally hot doing it, so it's okay.

He wakes up pretty angry.

He thought he'd be getting snogged right about now...

But instead Dumbledore is there talking about Stones and love and a bunch of other crap he wasn't really listening to.

So he goes to meet Ron and Hermione.

"Baby! I missed you! What happened to our snog?"

"Oh sorry. I had to go get help because Ron was swallowing his tongue. But he's okay, and...."

"Yeah, yeah, let's not gloss over this 'no-snog-when-promised-snog' thing."

"Oh don't worry... you'll get snogged. You've earned it."


At dinner, Harry cheers for Hermione as she gets points and they eventually win the house cup.

Harry and Hermione get ready to go home. As they board the train, Harry thinks about the year.

And about how many times he's going to snog Hermione on the train home.

And they lived happily ever after, until the next movie when a bunch of other bad stuff happens and Snape is still violating Mrs. Norris and Dumbledore is still an idiot and Ron still makes funny faces and the Dursleys are still asshats and Harry can't get snogged because Hermione is petrified and everyone thinks he's a murdering relative of Slytherin and...well, yeah. Other than that, they lived happily ever after.


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