So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

As Hermione explains...

...we see that Dumbledore enchants the ceiling.

It would be nice if he spent his time on, you know, ridding the world of evil, rather than making the ceiling look pretty and picking out incredibly silly hats.

Good job, idiot!

So Harry, Ron and Hermione are sorted into Gryffindor, obviously. While Draco Malfoy is an obvious Slytherin. No one really cares about the rest of these kids.

Oh my God, it's the Sheriff of Nottingham! What the hell??

Harry thinks about his new home and his new friends...and Hermione, before heading off to bed. Boy, it certainly is blue here at night.

Harry's first class is with Snape, who's got a great haircut. I think Jennifer Aniston had the same one last year.

Next is flying class, where he tries to impress Hermione by flying around with Draco Malfoy.

But Hermione isn't impressed. She knows he'll get in trouble. And so begins Hermione's pattern of trying to save Harry.

But Harry doesn't listen, and shows off his catching ability...

... allowing him to become the new school Seeker.

And in turn, allowing us to meet Oliver Wood.

Who's pretty much the best non-jailbait- aged eye candy in the movie.

Although jailbait isn't always a bad thing.

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