So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Vernon is not pleased.	But the owls believe Vernon can kiss their snowy-white asses.	So Vernon takes his family elsewhere to hide.
Like this nice Cabin of Creepiness. Seriously... the Durselys are even aware of this place? I don't think so...	Oh My God! It's Rosie O'Donnell!!!	"NOOO!!!"
Oh, thank God.	It's just Hagrid.	He's come to tell Harry he's a wizard and so were his parents.
"You're a wizard, Harry!"	"Wha???"	"And so were your parents."
"And the wha wha??"	"A wizard, Harry. Spells. Magic. Incredibly out of date clothing..."	"I guess Dumbeldore, he's this old guy that decided to banish you to a life of servitude and abuse at the hands of these folks here, decided you've had enough. It's time to bring you to school to face even more abuse and possibly even death at the hands of the most evil wizard known to man... who killed your parents and got your Godfather framed and all other kinds of horrors. So... you ready!??"