So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"Oh look, it's Daddy Warbucks."	"Well, at least MY eyebrows match my haircolor!"	"What are you doing in a bookstore, Weasley? Looking to burn books for heat?"
"Look here, donkey-raper... can I call you donkey-raper?... Shouldn't you be back at the Malfoy Mansion having sex with your mother right about now?	"I DO NOT have sex with mother. That was just a nasty unfounded rumor!"	"Whatever you say, donkey-raper."
"Shut up you Salvation Army reject!"	"I'm rubber, you're glue. Anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!"	"NO! I'm rubber, you're glue. Anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you! Times infinity, plus 1. No erasies!"
"Good God..."	"These are our role models."	[...]
[...]	"Let's just go find somewhere to snog while they finish this..."	The bookstore owner finally kicked them all out when Luscious began chanting, "I know you are but what am I?" So they go get the car.