So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Somehow that's never really explained, Harry manages to get back through the rubble and get to Ron and Professor Lying Sack of Shit. They all fly out with Fawkes, who can apparently lift 500x his weight.	Back in Dumbledore's office, Dumbledore has been reinstated.	And this idiot isn't happy about it.
"What's the matter? Mad cause the wife is borrowing your bow tonight?"	"Oh shut it."	[...]
"Dobby? Is that you??"	"Oh my God... these are your masters? These are the ones that... you know..."	"Uh huh. Just their size."
"Oh well doesn't that just figure?"	"That's just wrong."	"My ship is about to leave, but I just wanted to stop in an give a threatening, perfectly lighted eyebrow."
[...]	Dumbledore lets Harry take Voldemort's diary.	Instead of, you know, maybe going through it with a fine tooth comb and reading everything about Voldemort that they possibly can.