So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"But we caught her before she could get to you. We couldn't allow her to return to you and tell you of our secrets plans and where we were. So we had her petrified and returned to the hospital.	"Silly little girl. It was you we were trying to kill. My people are very loyal to me, and they won't stop until you're dead.	"You mean the Deatheaters?"
"Ugh, stop calling them Deatheaters!"	"One bad apple, back in the 18th century, eats a dead body and suddenly we're all Deatheaters. We're actually very civilized people, except... you know... evil as all Hell."	"But why?? Why try to kill me... what did Hermione know that you so desperately want to keep from me?"
"You obviously haven't been paying attention to this recap."	[...]	"Do you think the recapper simply writes stuff for no reason?"
"Everything has meaning! Everything has purpose."	"Except Percy. Haven't really figured out a purpose for him yet."	"You're the Hero, Harry. And the HERO has a role to play. The Hero always gets the girl."
"We can't allow this."	"We are... "	"Ron-Hermione Shippers."