So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

So of course, Harry wins and lets loose his secret power...	He can talk to snakes.	Which freaks everyone out.
Especially this kid.	Who's underbite is frightening. Seriously. It's the scariest thing I've ever seen.	Stop it.
Harry is scared, so he runs out.	"Harry, are you alright?! That was so scary!"	"I know. I thought his chin was going to open up and bite me, like in Blade 2 when the Reapers attack people and their whole jaw opens up and..."
"No... no, I meant you speaking Parseltongue!"	"Say what?"	"Parsletongue. You can talk to snakes. The heir of Slytherin could, too. So maybe you opened the chamber!"
::mutters:: "Stupid sidekick."	"You aren't doing it Harry. It's obviously Voldemort, which you'll find out later."	"Oh gosh! Look at the time. I have to go get petrified. And you have Quidditch practice. I'll see you at the end of the movie!"