So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"Oh, Ginny, I didn't see you there."

But Ginny doesn't answer.

"Oh no. Please don't be dead. Ron is already pissed off that you're getting a bigger storyline."

"Dying is all Ron has to look forward to."

"Oh shit, I forgot about that. Okay I'm alright."

"Harry, I need to tell you something."

"You know how there are people out there that think you and I are going to get together?"

"I've heard a lot of weird things in the past hour or so. Somehow, that doesn't suprise me."

"Well Hermione, who always seems to know everything, told me that in Order of the Phoenix, most pure blood wizards are related by blood. And I'm pretty sure your dad comes from a pureblood family. So that means we might be kind of related."

"It doesn't really matter."

"It also means that I'm related to Malfoy."

"Which sucks cause he's pretty hot."

"So how'd you get down here?"

"Oh yeah... Harry, it was me! I opened the chamber originally! But it was because of Tom! He kept writing to me in his diary. I didn't know what I was doing. He convinced me somehow that my brother and Hermione were supposed to be together. I felt like I was being brainwashed! I mean, I kept fighting it, I even threw that diary away. I knew it was evil. But it made me. It was horrible."

"I know it had to have been. It's okay, we're going to get out of here! Here comes Fawkes."

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