So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"You poor thing!"	Vernon is very upset about the noise.	::sniff, sniff:: "I've got to go before my masters find that I'm missing. The punishment will be severe."
"Wait, my letters!"	"Your letters? Is that all you care about? Dirty letters from your girlfriend?"	"Well... yeah."
"Wait..."	"They were dirty?"	[...]
"Fine, see if you care about this!"	[...]	[...]
[...]	[...]	"Oh shit."