So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

[...]	"That has to be the dumbest argument I've Ever. Heard."	"Ever."
"No...seriously. E.V.E.R."	"Even if I didn't want to be with Hermione, I would stay with her simply because that argument is so dumb that I'd want to prove it wrong."	"And just out of morbid curiousity, exactly what do you tell people when they ask how it's obvious?"
"Oh... the type of people that follow us rarely ask questions. Common sense is really unnecessary."	"But... if they did, I'd have to say, you see, Ron and Hermione fight... so they're in love. That's all it takes, of course."	"Yes, yes. You see it all makes sense."
"And, um, lets see... I know there's got to be more than that..."	"Um,..."	"OH! Yes, and..."
"Oh no, wait..."	"That's you."	"Well, it doesn't matter! No one questions my authority! My crew are loyal and eager! They'll send hate mail to anyone who dares to desire anything other than that Weasley and Granger will be romantically linked '4eva!!!1!eleventy!' They troll and flame anyone and any place that happens to have another opinion. We believe if we're harsh enough, we'll convert even the purest of hearts. It's a very sneaky and detailed operation. It's all a part of my master plan, which will kill you all!"