So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"God damn it!"	"Let's go! I could drive faster than this... an I'm a freaking OWL! Move it, grandma!"	They land in the Whomping Willow...
And are falling backwards.	Gee, I wonder who's going to hit first?	[...]
Awww... just wrong!	Awwww! Now that was just uncalled for.	Harry and Ron, finally safe, make their way to the castle.
"Wait, after all of that, you're just going to leave me here with the freakin' luggage?"	"Pricks!"	Oh my God, it's the Cryptkeeper. And Mrs. Norris. Um, why is she Mrs.? Is she married?
He's carrying her everywhere these days, protecting her from Snape.	Who is looking forward to another year of wearing the same clothes every day. And he's still wondering why he's in this movie. He only has like 3 lines this go around. At least he got to be threatening to the white man in the purple turban last year. This year, he's just there to give threatening looks.	Like this.