So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"The Hell?"	"Yes! You see, there was a prophecy made 13 years ago. It stated that you and I are destined to fight to the death. It stated that I would lose only because of your love... for Hermione. It would save you... would keep you alive just as your mother's love once saved you from me."	"Don't you remember Dumbledore telling you at the end of last year, after our battle for the stone, that Love is what saved you... what WILL save you?"
"Oh... I thought he was just babbling as usual. I left to go find Hermione."	"You should have listened. You see... there exists one chance of me surviving, along with only the most pureblooded of families. And that will only happen if Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger get together romantically."	"Oh... eww! What kind of fresh hell demon seed would follow that???!"
"There are many of us, everywhere, spreading our message."	"Oh my God, you're converting people to this madness? How? I don't understand how it's possible!"	"Isn't it obvious??"
"Isn't what obvious?"	"No, no, that's what we say to convert people. 'Isn't it obvious?'"	[...]
[...]	"That's it. That's your whole pitch?"	"Brilliant, isn't it?"