So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"So who opened the Chamber of Secrets?"	"Even though I already know the answer, I'm going to make up this incredibly difficult potion so we can sneak into the Slytherin common room and give Tom Felton some screen time."	"And to show everyone one more instance of me being brilliant."
Hermione's potions goes wrong.	But it's very funny.	And very fake.
Harry and Ron, as Goyle and Crabbe, go down to the Slytherin Dungeon of Not Nice People and the Evil Overlords Who Love Them.	And find Malfoy. Who's about 4 years younger than the last time we saw him. Seriously. Go back and look.	And he's spitting at them some more. Seriously, it's frightening.
And he knows nothing, as usual.	But we get to look at Tom for a few minutes so it's okay.	Hermione was taken to the hospital, where Snape, for some strange reason, kept visiting her.
Freakin perve.	So Harry stayed close by.	And visited whenever he could.