So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Of course! He can't be harmed in any way. Hermione either. Not until they've gotten together. Then, the gateway will open and kill them both anyway. But she'll never get with him if you're still around. So I have to kill you first!	"I tried to kill you that night, 11-years ago, but your stupid mother interfered."	"So I've been biding my time, building my crew. Spreading my message..."
"But right now I'm only a memory. I can't physically hurt you. So I conjured my Basilisk to kill you!"	"No! No it will never happen!!"	"Here comes my basilisk now... and he's hungry! He hasn't had his morning Hufflepuffs..."
"No!"	Just then, Fawkes comes in, carrying a hat with a sword in it.	Which has Godric Gryffindor's name on it.
Gee, that's not foreshadowing or anything. ::rollseyes::	Just as the snake goes for Harry...	"This is for Hermione!"
...and Harry stabs it in the neck.	Somewhere in between, Harry got stabbed in the arm.	And then Harry trips on something.