So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"Wait, your crew? You mean you actually have..."	"Yes. It's a ship hidden deep in the Black seas. It's called the Good Ship."	"The Good Ship?"
"Clever, yes?"	"You've got to be kidding me."	"Please tell me you're kidding me."
"All these years I've been afraid of you, afraid of what you could do to me. Afraid of what your master plan is. And you're a freakin Ron-Hermione shipper?"	"Oh Lord no! Not even I'm that evil."	"And I'm pretty evil.... I'm Lord freakin' Voldemort!"
"No no, I don't actually want them to get together... I just want them to get together long enough to open the gateway. You see there's a gateway that lies just under Hogwarts- which is why all the evil stuff seems to happen here-"	"I just thought it was because Dumbledore was an idiot."	"Well that, too."
"Oh, okay."	"Anyway, once opened, the gateway will swallow up all the mudbloods and mudblood lovers, leaving only those of us purebloods and evil in heart to survive. The only thing that opens the gateway is..."	"Ron and Hermione getting together. Of course... I see now! That's why Ron is never in any danger in the books, despite being a sidekick- who's usually supposed to be dead by now..."