So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"Wow, Mr. Weasley... have you been watching what you're eating?"	"Oh no... I had to cut back on some food to finish paying for that breakfast you ate last year."	[. . .]
"Nevermind how much this hotel's costing me so that we could come get you..."	[. . .]	"No worries though, Harry. Not about that anyway..."
"Huh?"	"You see the evil guy on all of these posters screaming for no apparent reason whatsoever?"	"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Oh, um yeah. What about him?"	"Even though there's a lot of people in this restaurant that can overhear me, and although it makes no sense whatsoever to tell you this, I need to tell you that this is Sirius Black. He wants to kill you."	"Wow...great name."
"But wait... why would he want to kill me? I don't even know him? That doesn't make sense!"	"Oh...there's no need to make sense in this movie, you'll see. Off to the train with you!."	"Um. K."