So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Hi there. Sorry to interrupt this recap, but for those of you that don't recognize me, I'm Sean Biggerstaff. I play Oliver Wood in the HP movies.	Right about now you'd be getting your chance to see me (soaking wet, by the way) in my fantastic scene.	...which we all know is the only reason any of this Quidditch crap is tolerable...
But I read through the PoA script.	And thanks to some wankers who shall remain nameless...	[. . .]
... you WON'T actually be seeing me in this movie...	...leading the team, determined to win.	And did I mention soaking wet, ladies?
So let us all take a moment to thank the assbags who cut me out...	[. . .]	...who shall remain nameless.
Good job guys!!!	And since it looks like me and half the bloody characters from the 4th book are being cut from GoF...	I've decided to change careers...
and become a drunken,	guitar playing,	hippie.
And I'm seriously thinking of defecting to Canada.	Thanks again, assbags. Thanks so much.	Back to your regularaly scheduled Quidditch game.