So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

"Oh and by the way... the Ministry decided to have these creepy, psycho, soul sucker things - slash - killers hanging around you kids this term..."	"Don't worry. They aren't here to hurt most of you."	"Like you, or you. Or you or you. Or you."
[. . .]	[. . .]	[ ! ]
"So anyway, they'll be around looking for an escaped convict. Oh yeah! I should probably tell you all about that."	"But why bother? They'll only try to kill a few of you..."	[. . .]
[ ! ]	"Anyway... hope you don't mind. Of course they should have sent out not-insane, qualified Aurors to do this job..."	"Or... maybe... owls. Giant owls. Owls that can rip a man's arm off and transform into black crows with red eyes and laser beams..."
"Oh man... that would rock so hard!"	[. . .]	[. . .]
"Sorry."	"Anyway... try not to piss them off or they'll tear you a new one."	[. . .]