So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

Annnyway...	"Next unimportant character!"	An unimportant character turns her not-that-scary snake into an extremely scary clown, which is apparently funny to her.
But to me, this is like the clown from the deepest, darkest depths of Hell.	Oh no. Not scary at all.	Seriously, I'm going to have nightmares for weeks.
"Next! Next dammit!"	"Hurry back, baby."	[. . .]
"Oh! Harry Potter! Hi there. Someone told me we met on the train but I was totally tossed out of my mind so I don't remember. Anyway, nice to meet you. You know, I knew your parents. Especially your mom!"	"She was amazing and pretty and rainbows followed her wherever she walked. And fairies sang little songs whenever she smiled..."	[. . .]