So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

So off to sleep they go.	Ooo boys night in.	Oh yeah...that happens to me all the time.
Okay, Ron's arms here are totally great, but I'm thrown by the Pippi Longstalking braids.	It's like a 12-year-old girls slumber party. Kind of disturbing, actually. I bet the girls are off drinking beer and watching porn.	Oh look. It's scenery. Instead of plot. But who needs plot when you have lots of pointless scenery?
The next day, they have Care of Magical Creatures class. Which didn't exist last year, but we aren't supposed to concern ourselves with that.	Hagrid is the professor.	Hagrid was kicked out of school and can barely read or write.
Which would be fine if he were a teacher in the US. But as a fully accredited professor at Hogwarts... isn't that a bit dangerous?	I wonder who made that decision?	Good job, idiot!