So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

And by the way, am I the only one to be completely creeped out the the New!Neville?	He's thinner, but, somehow, his teeth are larger than his whole body.	I'm totally skeeved out.
It's like a cross between Prince Charles and Tony Blair.	In case that's not clear, it's not a good thing.	In fact, that would be my Boggart.
Hermione and Harry sneak to the back to snog.	While Ron faces his Boggart.	"I'm sorry...who are you?"
[. . .]	"Just open the freaking door."	But nothing happens.
"What's the problem?"	"Oh, uh... sorry there Don... John.... whatever. I guess the Boggart feels you don't have enough of a role in this movie to have a special Boggart, just like the rest of these kids."	[. . .]