So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

But before that, we get yet another obscenely long scenery scenes.	Because why should they explain who the Mauraders were or about Harry's father being an Animagi when we can have a tree?	Good job, idiots.
This is Divination class, aka 'seeing the future'.	"Ugh"	"Why do you hate Divination so much, baby?"
"It's a waste of my time."	"I already know everything."	"Holy Christ on a cross- who's this fruitcake?"
One of Dumbledore's ganga smoking friends was kicked out of her Knockturn Alley apartment.	So he gave her a job at Hogwarts.	She's very grateful.
"Hello! I'm Professor Doesn't Know Shit!"	"Any relation to Professor Lying Sack of Shit from last year?"	"You know my brother? Oh...of course you do. I know all I see all..."
Meanwhile, Ron takes a nap.	No, seriously this time!	He actually does!