So everyone knows the general plot of Harry Potter, but take a look at my version of the events of each film. This is from a slightly skewed shippers perspective. Please keep in mind this is a parody and no offense is meant to any of the actors and/or characters. There is also some bad language and adult themes that you may want the kiddies to stay away from. Contact me with comments and/or criticism. I hope you enjoy!

After adjusting Dumbledore's medication, Snape takes over teaching class for a sick Lupin.	"Shut your mouths and open your books."	"We won't be having any of that silly hinkypinky or tiddlywink crap today."
shutting curtains "And none of that pesky light, either."	"Today, for no alterior motive whatsoever, you're going to learn about werewolves."	hermione "But sir, Professor Lupin was just teaching us how..."
"To fight off a mosquito? I don't think many of us have to worry about being attacked by evil clowns or snakes any time soon."	harry looking at him [. . .]	"Well most of us don't."
"But sir..."	"Oh Jesus Christ, would you shut it?! Were you born being such a know it all or do you take lessons?"	"I take lessons, asshole!"